| Oh God...I'm gonna lose her....
Yesterday night Michelle...my little sister's mother called...she wanted my step dad to give up gaurdianship of Jen...He's happy he won't have to pay child support anymore...I'm sad because no longer will I have my little sister.
Sure..I haven't seen her for nearly 4 years..but I always had that string of hope that maybe someday....but no..not to be...All I ever wanted was a little sister...and when I got her...wow was I so happy! There was this little sister I had always dreamed of..and she adored me! Now she's leaving my life for good and it's breaking my heart... | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment   |
| 1. Name: Alexandria Grace Loran Flette
2. Are you named after anyone? Alexandria- Well my favorite/oldest cousin's middle name is Alexander..but I don't think there's a connection lol. Grace- My grandma Shiela Alice Grace Loran- My Grandpa Lawrence and my cousin's mom Lorna
3. Do you wish on stars? Yep, I randomly sit on stars..(it's pretty hot you know) and make wishes.
4. Which finger is your favorite? The one I pick my nose with o.O
5. When did you last cry? Last night, I'm a crier,I cry at the drop of the hat
6. Do you like your handwriting? No, I don't even like my printing
7. What is your favorite lunchmeat? Turkeeeeeeeey
8. Any bad habits? I bite my nails, chew on my bottom lip. Scratch my chin, pull on my lip..play with my ear....
9. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? Ok..Backstreet Boys...*gag*
10. If you were another person, would you be friends with YOU? Juli..lmbo..you ARE odd. I doubt I'd be friends with myself..I'd think I was to much of a geek? And then secretly go home and do my geeky stuff?! Ummm yeah.
11. Are you a daredevil? Depends on what it is.
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? I think so :(
13. Do looks matter? Somewhat..for me..yes...for them? Not really.
14. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Pot?! What?! Where?!
16. Do fish have feelings sexual or otherwise? The fuck kind of question is this?
17. Are you trendy? I'm all up and up on the Khaki pants and the big hairstyles..............what?!
18. How do you release anger? Writing, yelling, crying
19. Wheres your second home? I guess Red Deer...oh..but Kelowna comes in close!
20. Do you trust others easily? Nope, actually lately I've been having this HUGE ass trust issue with anyone, even those people I've trusted for like a million years. Hmmm..
21. What were your favorite toys as a child? Blanky, Light Bug, School Bus and Pool...oh and then I got older and was OBSESSED with Barbie.
22. What class in school do you think is totally useless? None of them!!! I miss school so damn much! But I guess the worst one in High School was Gym
23. Do you have a journal? -.- Um?
24. Do you use sarcasm a lot? When I'm overly tired
25. Have you ever been to another country? Yeah! Scotland, but I don't remember that for shit..and then The United States....
26. What do you look for in a Guy? The ability to carry out a tthought? lol I know that's rare with you guys these days :P
27. What are your nicknames? Ok was I chicken or Turkey?! I can't remember. Peanut, Delilah, Al, Ali, Sweetie, Agnes, Gerttie,
28. Would you ever bungee jump? If there were like a million cords attatched to me with like a million locks.
29. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No, I'm lazy. The only shoes I make an effort to take off are my boots and they have zippers up the side..so not so bad. They're a bitch to get on though..lemme tell ya.
30. Do you think that you are strong? I'm emotionally stunted, shut the fuck up! Hehe j/k..Physically..getting stronger but to most I'm a weaky...Emotionaly I'm stronger then most my age.
31. What’s your favorite Ice Cream Flavor? Cookie Dough and Root Beer Float
32. What is your favorite color? Pink
33. What is your least favorite food? Zucchini
34. How many wisdom teeth do you have? None, they were ripped out of my mouth in a horrible accident involving a dentist and some drugs. No shit.
35. Are you in love with anyone? Yes!
36. How many people have a crush on you right now? Ok well If I knew that then it wouldn't be a crush it would be a relationship?!
37. Who do you miss most right now? Brian Lohr..I miss that kid SO damn much. It's nuts
38. Do you want everyone you send this to send it back? This question is lame
39. What color trousers are you wearing? Who the hell says trousers? They're blue and grey and some other color I can't identify
40. What are you listening to right now? The voices in my head telling me to sleeeeep
41. What are the last 4 digits of your home phone number? 9557
43. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Pink..I could be all...spunky and shit
44. Weather right now? Sunny and nice and...ooooh birdy
45. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? My mother
46. First thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes
47. Do you?.... Yes, yes I do o.O
48. How are you today? (lmfao...Juli...)I'm strangly tired..but other then that just spiffy.
49. Favorite drink? Pina Coloda!!!!!!!!!...wow..to much enthusiasm
50. Favorite sports? Hockey eh!
52. Hair colour? Dark Blonde but at the moment it's like blonde on top and black underneath..all avril like (and umm..yeah Matthew..your hair is blonde!!!!)
53. Eye colour? Icy Blue
56. Favorite month? June, of course...actually August..*gasp* I'm cheating on my birth month!
57. Favorite food? The king you can just shove into your mouth while your driving down the highway at 150km an hour?!?! Oooor..my mom's pizza!
58. Last movies you watched? 50 first dates...awesome movie!!!!!!
60. Are you too shy to ask someone out? I asked my boyfriend in grade 9 out..however it was over ICQ...come to think of it I dumped him over ICQ...I was so heartless. To answer the question..yes.
61. Scary movies or happy endings? Those are two totally different things and you can't even compare them! so neah!
62. Summer or winter? Summer baby!!!!
63. Hugs or kisses? Kisses..WITHOUT TONGUE! -.- I rest my case.
64. Relationships or one-night stands? Who openly admits to one night stands?! Well I'm gonna be the first!!!!!................Just kidding. I like the whole relationship thing.
65. Do you want your friends to write back? Yes you damn hippies, make me feel loved!!!
66. Who is most likely to respond? My Alter Ego (it's pretty big too)
67. What book you reading? I don't know what it's called..it's really big and long and the author goes on about pointless shit and it's really hard to get through.
Anyone read The Pretty Bones?!
72. What did you watch on TV last night? I worked, ya know..that thing you do to make money...
73. Favorite smells? The person I am currently stalking
74. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? NoOOOoOoooOooOoOoOOooOOooooooOooOoo0 | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I've come to the conclusion that my mother is true blue crazy and it's not even something I can laugh about anymore.
She spent 2 hours in her 'craft room' (Jesus christ just don't ask about that) then came upstairs covered in paint telling me that she had just made a beautiful work of art. So being all excited to see what she did, I go downstairs to look at her "work of art" not fucking kidding..it looked like something my 2 year old cousin could have done. It was horrible and just deranged...but there was she was thinking it was something picasso could have done.
She loves to play head games, if you feel remotely good about yourself she slams you right back down where you belong, then gets pissed at you when you feel bad!!!!
If you're in any kind of pain she either ignores or screams at you to go see a doctor and just leave her alone about it. Nice huh?
She's sick in the head. She plays emotional rollercoaster games that leave me feeling like shit and that it's -me- who has done something wrong.
She's abusive, crazy and horrible.
Why do I love her so much? | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Informationi | | californiaangel is a restricted area. Authorised personel only |
From Go-Quiz.com
| californiaangel's LJ stalker is sosadsodramatic! | | sosadsodramatic is stalking you because your LiveJournal is just SO damned interesting. They are also getting with your significant other! |
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| | How to make a californiaangel |
Ingredients:
5 parts jealousy
5 parts courage
3 parts leadership |
Method:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of lovability |
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| In times of dispair will you hear me? Will my heart beat faster when you are near me? I crawled away from you only to run back. Ten thousand miles of stars only to get no where. Did you love me then? Did you see me? Did you feel me?
Everyone said I couldn't return, but no one said I couldn't leave. When I want to ruin my life that's fine, when I want to improve it they become concerned. No one said it was wrong to leave my youngest child behind, no one said it was wrong to leave those little girls motherless. When I was selfish it was ok, to break my husbands heart was ok. To return to him and my children is wrong...to think about my family is a crime punishable by spite. Who are they that hold me back? The darkest parts of my soul? The people I once called my own? It doesn't matter... They don't exist anymore.
---------------------------
I can't believe I wrote that!!! It's so good..lol. Wow. I amaze myself sometimes.
For those that care,it's a poem about my oldest rp character Gabriella Ocean Jynx.
Man my back is killing me, I think I ripped something or other..I can still like walk but it hurts and I'm afraid it's just gonna seize up one day while i'm driving..or swimming in the river this weekend! Eep!
Some people are such jerks. Why is it that every time I get back into Chat RP someone decides they're going to fuck me and my closest friends over? Do people not have lives?
I have lost such faith in human kind. Everything was so fine and dandy during the hockey games..but now this city has gone to shit. Someone stole my mom's car...robbed a grocery store with it and then decided that they'd come and rob our fucking house just to screw us even more over! Fuck.
Over and Out.
Ali | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Rant | | Time: | 11:24 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/angry.gif) enraged |
|
| Lately I have been sooo pissed off. "Why?" you may ask...well if you don't want to know then don't read this.
My province's (Province is like a state to you stupid people out there) economy is pretty much based on Beef...my city is fondly known as "Cow Town". Last year around this time *ONE* of our cows was found to have Mad Cow disease and the boarders were closed -understandably- to our cows and beef. We had everything tested, our cows are no longer sick! (Did I mention that it was just one cow that had the disease??) everyone has opened up their boarders to us except the USA! Why?! DO you people not realize that you are devistating our economy by simply not reopening your boarders to our perfectly healthy,yummy Alberta beef?? Sorry to you Americans...cuz most of my friends are just that....but your government are complete asses with no regard to anyone but themselves!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope they're happy that they are fucking up our economy because of one single solitary fucking cow.
On another note...things are going Ok...I just got a car...got a new job again and I'm completely in love.
Ali | | comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment |
| I've thought about you alot these past days...weeks...months. I know it's your birthday soon...though do I know the exact day? No...i've forgotten.
You haven't returned any of my letters...each card I sent you was never acknowledged. Did you get them?
I cried for you the other day...I couldn't help but remember all the time we spent getting to know eachother...being the sisters we always wanted. I bugged you alot near the end...was that why you left? I wish i could tell you it was because I loved you...you were an annoying little sister but I LOVED it...I adored the fact that you were there to annoy me.
Jen..I'm sorry your dad was there for most of my life and only 2 years of yours
I'm sorry he denied you.
No matter what...if I never see you again...if I have to wait until were old and crotchety...or if I see you tomorrow..You will forever and always be my little sister.....
I'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
but you still have
all of me
you used to captivate me
by your resonating life
now I'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
I've been alone all along | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Dear Marcel,
Do you have any idea how much you hurt me? You once told me you loved me and not 10 hours later you dropped me like a fly. How could you do this? How could you turn your back on me after I had waited so long? It's been 6 months but still...still I can't even think about that night without my heart breaking over again. I feel so used, hurt, ashamed!
How could you? HOW COULD YOU?! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Sometimes I can’t breath
I can’t breath so hard it hurts.
This pain it’s holding me like a knife…
Life a knife against my throat.
Did you ever wonder why the rain falls down so gently upon my cheeks? This habit of hating you is more then I can see. I don’t know why you hurt me so I’ll draw it on my hand. And maybe by the end of time I’ll bring this to the end.
Sometimes I’m so cold
So cold that it hurts
This hate is holding me like a vice
Like a vice against my heart.
Did you ever wonder why the snow falls down so gently upon my cheeks? This habit of loving you is more then I can bare. I don’t know why it hurts me so I’ll draw it on the wall. And maybe be the end of time this pain won’t hurt at all. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Eminem-Sing for the moment | | Subject: | lalala | | Time: | 01:40 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/cheerful.gif) chipper |
|
| My other live journal >>>> Ta da www.livejournal.com/users/jeffandjenny
Not much going on these days..having a blast getting back to talking to old friends! Great fun! Can't wait until schoooool. Oh and summer..I love summer..come summer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| 
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
|
Copyright 2003-2004 - Martin Glaude
Sweeeet I'm like Hermione..my favorite character in the books! *does a little dance* | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I've been thinking about Marcel alot lately...surprise surprise? Well the weird thing this time is that I actually had my hand on the phone..ready to call him and appologize!! Thank God for the little voice in my head that sounds ALOT like Julianna! How in god's name did I get it in my head that I needed to appologize to him? And why would I want him back? Seriously lonely over here people.
I'm resisting the urge to email him...to get in contact with him. Urg...he was the only guy that like ever gave me the time of day...and then shortly there after ripped my heart out, stomped on it and then threw it in the gutter *nods* but still? Ugh..
Someone hit me over the head with a brick...carry me away and make me their princess??? (preferably male..thanks!) | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| In The Last 48 Hours, Have You:
01. Cried: Yes
02. Bought something: Yes
03. Gotten sick: No
04. Sang: Yep
05. Eaten: Err...yeah
06. Been kissed: Not since July >.<
07. Felt stupid: Yeap
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: No
09. Met someone new: Yes
10. Moved on: Sort of
11. Talk to an ex: Psh...heeeeeeell no
12. Missed an ex: Yes
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: Yeah
14. Had a serious talk: Sort of
15. Missed someone: Yes
16. Hugged someone: Yes
17. Fought with your parents: Nope
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: Yes.
Personal:
01. Who is your role model: Grandma Pat, Mom, Aunty Dana
02. What are some of your pet peeves: Stupid slow people and bratty children
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with?: Yes
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: Yes
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: I think so yeah
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): Yes
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: Yes, but only in the moment
08. Would you rather be dumper or dumped: Neither, but if I had to choose it would be dumper..less heartache that way...however replaced by guilt
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": Relationship, Hook Ups are disgusting.
10. Want someone you don't have right now: Yes
11. Ever liked your best girl friend: "Like"? Not "Like Like" but of course I would Like my best girlfriend..deh.
12. Do you want to get married: Yes, very much
13. Do you want kids: Yes!
14. Do you believe in psychics: Eh, sort of
15. Do you believe you know this person you are going to marry: Yes
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: That I can express when I'm sad.
18. Are you happy with you: Sometimes...must most of the time no.
19. Are you happy with your life: See above
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: I wish that all my family were closer...that I could see my sisters everyday...that I was closer to my brother...that I wouldn't cry over good memories of my family being together.
[ Current Clothes ] Black sweater, Jean Jacket, Black skirt (just past the knees) and knee high black boots....Just changed into Pink sweats and black t-shirt
[ Current Mood ] Tired...content
[ Current Music ] Third Eye Blind-How's it gonna be?
[ Current Taste ] Apple Pie
[ Current Make-up ] Black Eyeliner, Gold eyeshadow.
[ Current Hair ] Dark Blonde
[ Current Annoyance ] Coldness
[ Current Smell ] I smell like clairol shampoo..and my hair is all shampooey because I didn't rinse it out very well..BLECH.
[ Current thing I ought to be doing ]Sleeping
[ Current Desktop Picture ] Ummmmm on MY computer it's a picture of Aruba.
[ Current Book you're reading ] Beach Music, Whistledown Woman, The Endless Steppe
[ Current CD in CD Player ] Mixed CD
[ DVD in player ] Bad Boys 2
[ Current Color Of Toenails] Natural with chipped pink *nods*
[ Current Refreshment ] Orange Juice
***************************************************
[my name is]: Alexandria Grace Loran Flette
[height?]: 5"9
{In the morning i am]: A grumpy Beeeotch
[all i need is]: a kiss...from someone who wants to keep kissing me
[love is]: Amazing...
[if u could see one person right now]: Julianna, my sister
[im afraid of]: being forever alone...and getting shot in the head
[i dream about]: Everything
-H A V E .Y O U. E V E R . . .
[been in love]:Yes
[cried when someone died]: YEs
[lied]: Yes
-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or pepsi]: Coke
[flowers or candy]: Flowers
[tall or short]: I wanna be shorter...but I want my boyfriend/husband to be taller then me..so tall o.O
-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do u notice first?]: Ok, to be all superficial I notice their eyes...then smile.
[last person u slow danced with]: My Dad o.O He was teaching me how to dance.
[worst question to ask]: "Just Ok?"
-W H O-
[makes u laugh the most?]: Julianna, Patrick, Dad and Mom[makes you smile]: Deri, Jenny, Mom
[gives u a funny feeling when u see them]: Like what kind of funny? Like "Omg I want to jump you" funnny? orr "Ew get away from me" funny?
[do you have a crush?]: *Yes
[has a crush on u?]: I dunno
[is easier to talk to]: Deri, Jenny (some things) it used to be easy to talk to Mom and Julianna...some stuff with Dad...Gabi I can talk to about anything.
-D O. Y O U .E V E R-
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. u?]: I sit around all day waiting for someone to get on so I can IM them..sad..yes..I know
[save aol/aim conversations]: Nooooooo...I should though...some of them are so crazy...
[wish u were a member of the opposite sex]: Sometimes..when I have terrible cramps and blood is pouring out of me *nods* other then that..NO.
[cry because of someone saying something to you]: Yes...if it were mean or touching
-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for ur best friend]: Seeing as my bestfriends have been girls...that's a big NO.
[been rejected?]: Sure
[rejected someone]: No
[used someone]: Not to my awareness.
[been cheated on]: Yes
[done something u regret]: Yes
[been drunk?]: No...tipsy...
[done drugs?]: Tried Marjuana
-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[u talked to on the phone]: Grandpa Lawrence
[hugged]: Colleen
[u instant messaged]: Jenny
[that instant messaged you]: Jenny
[u laughed with]: Dad
-D O .Y O U-
[color ur hair]: Yes
[ever get off the damn computer]: Yes
[habla espanol]: A little
-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[smoke cigarettes]: No
[obsessive]: About somethings
[could u live without the computer?]: Yes, but I'd miss alot of people
[how many peeps are on ur buddylist?]: 58
[what's your favorite food?]: MOm's Pizza, Mashed Potatoes aaaand...other things.
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: Cherries
[drink alchohol?]: Yes
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: Both
[what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?]: Emotional...it hurts longer and you cant take anything for it. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Have you ever felt that all your friends had some sort of conspiracy against you? Even if they didn't know eachother..suddenly they do and each and everyone is refusing to talk to you? That's what's going on now....About ten people last night signed off of msn the minute I tried to talk to them...freaky...or coincidence?
I had to explain something to a dear friend of mine...did it hurt him? I don't know, no one will talk to me and it's driving me insane...surely not everyone hates me.
I had a dream about Maggie Lamotte last night. She'd lost Luke to the flu that has been going around and was completely distraught...but at the same time didn't seem to really care. We joined this relay race together just so that we could show up Maggie Hunt (my ex bestfriend who has been spreading rumors all over the damn city about Maggie Lamotte) anyways...we did everything and totally showed up everyone. Except Maggie completely broke down into tears because she was only 18 with a two year old (suddenly Luke wasn't dead) and she still couldn't be with Gaetan (Maggie Hunt's brother and the reason Maggie hunt is spreading lies.)I felt terrible when I woke up...Maggie Lamotte was always this care free tiny girl when we were growing up, with dreams bigger then herself...but somehow it was never a question to whether or not she would get to them. Until 11th grade that is..when she was 16 and we all were 17..she wound up pregnant with Luke and dropped out of school. It stunned us all...even Maggie Hunt. Last year Maggie Lamotte started dating Maggie Hunt's brother...and it has all gone down hill from there. The battle of the Maggie's has begun...and I hate to say this...but I hope Maggie Lamotte defeats my former best friend quickly and sharply. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| 1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you? | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| |
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californiaangel's journal![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/sad.gif){kind=small}
lonely
